ya im a phan

as most of my friends now i am a huge phantom of the opera fan. and if your not my friend and your reading this im pretty sure it would be easy to figure out by my first coupld very embarassing immature blog posts. any way i have alot of phantom things: i have about 3 copies of the gaston leroux book becasue they are all different translation, i have a piano book, i have two coppies of the susan kay book one is hard cover and one is not, i have a pamflit from when i went a saw the play, i have one book called the journey of the mask (bad published fan fiction), i have a plushy phantom doll the my friend amy made for me, i have a drawing of christine and erik that my awesome friend karen for me, the cd with the music, two books that with the 2004 movie scriped and the actual play scriped that containe detail about the actors and the stage and all that other stuff. i have the 1925 movie version, the 2004 musical version, and on its way becasue i oredered it off of amazon a 1990 mini series version. needless to say i am obseesed i have alot of crap. the sad thing is that this is not my only obsession there is also led zeppelin which im not even going to go into all the led zeppelin stuff that i have.


any way i love phantom of the opera i love the idea of the anti hero. they guy who fights soo hard for something. even thought all the shit that he has been in his life. and unfortanitly in this story it does not end out so well. im not going to go into great detail incase there are some people here reading this who have not read the orginal book , which i highly recoment you do read. might be hard to get into at first but is great. this story is a love hate realationship for me. i love the phantom. i see him as amazing well you know for a crazy girl kidnapping psyco. i guess i find myself defending him saying look at his life look what he went through. he is not fully crazy he is in love and does not know how to express it. i mean look at how socioty has treated him. rideculed him shut him down, pushed him aside his entire life. tried to kill him. screamed and fanted because of the way he looks. i mean in one of the books that i read his own mother wanted to kill him, did not want to look after him because he was apperently so ugly that when born he looked like death and she did not want to deal with it. its sad. but erik is so cool.

i hate the raoul character this is a character who i see gets everything handed to him. does not work for anything cause he comes from a ritch family. he has the good looks. and he also wants the girl that erik(the phantom) is inlove with. i donno maybe this character just fucks with my morals. i see erik who struggled for everything thoughout his life had so many people hate him. and he has a chance for love with christine and then this stupid pretty boy fop comes in and just snaggs her away. i know there are other fans that will dissagree and say that no christine never loved erik or that raoul was ment to be with her. that i do not agree with. i mean there are some versions where i can actually respect that character like the 1990 kopit version which is on its way. but yes raould seems like someone who does not work. just gets. i think thats why strongly dislike this character.

then there is christine with her i donno. i wanna hate her but i cant. i think i really wanna dislike her because i like erik. i wanna yell at her and call her a wossy for leaving erik, for taking the easy way out which is raoul. when deep down inside she really loves erik and she just wants to be with him but instead she goes with the stupid fop for security. thats what i wanna say. i think thats what i tell myself in this story that makes me dislike her. but in reality which of us would chose to stay underground with a mad muscian? i mean i tell my self as an obseesed fan that i would stay with erik i love erik. but inreality no way. all girls would go for the comfort. sorry erik. as a fan it hurts me to say this...but you will still never hear me say that christine loves raoul more. cause that is simply not so. in my mind raoul may have won christine, but erik won her heart. and once you have won that in someone there is not going back!

anyway yes i love this story. this blog went a compleatly different direction then what i wanted but whatever. basically im trying to explain what i love so much about this story and about the characters and that is not even all the ones that i could go on a rant....dont even get me started on charlotta, or the managers omg. lol.

so i think i will end this blog with a quote from the kopit movie that i love:

`For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed one sweet dream only. And though that sweet dream came in countless shapes and guises, it was what sustained me. I now know it was of her that I dreamed. I was born to live down here. But till now, I have never known quite why. Well, I was born so she could come and save me! For that is what she's done. She is the reason I was born. You seem startled. Did you think me incapable of such emotion? Well, it seems I'm not. What an astounding discover! Makes everything I've been through worth the waiting and the pain. What pain? The pain was a dream. All was a dream till this. When the gods give you a gift like that, you do not send it back. I love her, Gerard. And I believe, with any luck, in time, she will learn to love me. The gods would be cruel indeed to have sent her otherwise.``-erik(phantom)