fuck my mind

i am starting to wonder if i can take some classes to get me to calm the fuck down and stop over reacting. i am one of thoes people who always thinks up the worst possible senerio. i will give you an example of this.

say im walking home (i walked home alot in high school so shut up this works) and well im walking home this a car behind me starts to slow down. now most normal people in this world would start to think hmm well sence my house is near the ferries. they are probs slowing down to get to the ferries or to make the turn off. or maybe they are slowing down to ask directions. or maybe they live up around here and they are slowing down to turn up their drive way. but no no no none of that goes in zeppelinphans mind right away because i am the pro at overacting. the thoughts that go on in my head are. why the fuck is a car slowing down behind me. what does the driver want. maybe i should not get to close to the car..girls do get abducted.

and all these other weird senerios i used to start thinking where if it was a creeper in the car slwoing down behind me i would think in detail weather it was better to try to run to a house near by but then oh no i dont know how the people in thoes houses maybe they are creepers also..then id be fucked even more. and what if the creeper in the house and in the car know each other then i am so dead.

and my over thinking like this would actually escalade untill i got home. and i would realize wow im fucked.

i do this whole overthinking senerio shit with my friends. when i cant hear from one i start to worry that something happend. it does not help when i call there house and there parental gardian thinks that they are with me.....and i dont know what to say to them. i should stay calm but then i start to think. why would my friend tell there parental gardian that they are with me. and not tell me. i mean i dont mind lying for my friends depending on what they are going to do or wear they are going but i would like to be filled in on the fact that they are supposed to be with me so i know this.

otherwise i get worried no only that but i feel like im fucking over my friends in saying actually im sorry but they are not with me i was actually calling to find out where they are...shit.

then i once again think of worse case senerio insstead of remaing calm and thinking where are they normallywhen they are not home. and i stupidly start calling places instead of staying calm and i picture my friends in the worse case senerio and i try to think of what i can do. and i escallade situations instead of giving that friend his/her space like i should.

and this tends to not turn out good.

i really need to find some kind of school to that will teach me to calm the fuck down. becuase otherwise im eventually going to push someone over the edge.

cause as of yet..my over reacting/ overthinking situations has not helped situations but in fact made them worse.