i hate the school system

i have come to the conclusion that the school system is shit.

why is it that when i try really hard with a paper, i get it back and i get an F. but then when i compleatly and uterly bullshit a paper without actually doing the work. not to mention typing it up the night before when i get that paper back i get 86% on it.

does this seem wrong here to anyone else?

work= f

bull shit= A

hmm no no wonder todays youth is not really learning anything in this education system. well strike that we are learning something. but its not the material that we are supposed to be learning. what we are learning is how bullshit our way into getting good grades. how to say something that sounds an A rather then doing something that deserves an A. saying what the teachers whant to hear and getting a good grade, or putting in the effort and getting a bad grade.

the system is fucked. if i have learned anything this week it is that hard work does not seem to pay off in the education system. even though it should. what pays of is manipulation and knowing what to say and when to say it.

because in the end of the day. it appears that the only way to get good grades is to bullshit you way throught it.

fuck my school life

my face is streaked with tears and i feel like im going to throw up. no its not because im sick. its not even because i lost someone close to me. i just having a really bad fucking day. i feel like the shit is hitting the fan majourly. so this is how my day goes i wake up after a good nights sleep everything feels good. i pack my bag head downstairs and grab some food and go to turn on my computer. and guess what it is fucked up. the screen is all pixalaited and i cant do anything,. i officially hate pc laptops and am going to spend my money on a mac even if that causes me to be out 2 thousand dollers at least that way ill have a fucking computer that knows how to fucking work. then i get up to the bus stop. well waiting there i realize shit i forgot my text book. with no time to run back to my house and grab it i figure i can do without it for a day. then when i get to school today i look in my bag and i forgot my felt story, so i need to borrow one from the teacher for our group recordings. today we had to record ourself reading a story to our peers for our teacher to review and give us some tips before we actually do it in the feild.

after this i go to lunch and i start to feel a bit better. this is because originally i thought i had five papers due next week but cause classes got switched around i know only have four. which means less work for me. and i can type up the two papers that i have not yet done on the desktop that we have at home. i also get a paper back from a class that has a b grade. which makes me happy. and makes me less stressed out about my grades. then my last class comes around. and i get a paper back at the end of that class. thinking that i did a good job on this paper i flip to the back eagerly to see my mark. and what do i see...a fucking F. why the hell did i get an F. well i want to say its because my teacher is a stupid fucking bitch, but when i look at the grading system she says its because i did not include my observations.

is she blind they are stapled right to the fucking page. she said they were rough drafts so she did not mark them as observations, because they were hand writen. well i would understand anyother time getting a bad mark in a post secondary insitution for handing in something hand writiten this pisses me off becuase earlier she said that it was better if it was handed in hand writen that way she knows that we actually did the fucking observations instead of just bullshiting it and typing it up. and now because mine happen to be hand writen she give me an f? does this not seem unfair to anyone else.

so im upset. so much so that i feel like im going to throw up, like im not good enough. i mean i have been buged and teased enough by friends saying how easy this two year course to be a preschool teacher must be. so how stupid do i feel if i cant even get a good mark in this, how stupid am i if i cant get good marks in this. i feel like a fucking retard, like a looser. if i cant do this how am i ever going to amount to any career. i fear that i will be one of thoes people stuck in shitty part time jobs for the rest of my life. and thats not me, thats not what i want to do. if im going to be here on this planet i want a job that actually has an effect on the world. one where i make no a difference. and working in some shitty part time job does not make a fucking difference in the world. teaching would if i can get fucking good grades. and jobs that my friends want to get into would like

karen,: she writes and she wants to be in the navy, at least there she will be making a difference. same with addy, and josh who is going to be a history teacher.

all these people get decent grades and are doing well why arnt i what the fuck is wrong with me, why do i feel so stupid and uncapable right now. im thinking about previous years i had in college like when i took some history courses how come i was able to get b+'s in thoees course and not in a fucking early childhood course. what is up with this. and i think and think about other things that interest me and getting some sort of degree in history, or art history sound pretty fucking awesome. i dont know how much of a difference it would make but it sounds cool. but then there is this little voice saying if you switch degress again your just a quiter, your giving up. you already did that once to your parents and now your going to do it again. i feel even worse switching and getting bad marks cause its my parents money not mine.

they saved and saved and saved so that i could get an good education and when i get bad marks it feels like im just slapping them across the face. i mean it would be different if i was spending my own money for school but im not, i dont have that money.

and now i feel helpless, and stupid and like a failure, im doing bad in two courses. even though i feel like im trying.

i dont know what to do, part of me say switch programs to history thats something you really find interesting. other say dont if you do your just a quiter and youll be costing your parents to much fucking money. and you will have waisted your time. another part of me says i should just struggle through this semester live with whatever marks i get and then take a year off to go traveling but then there is the voice saying its too late to do that, and you dont really have enough money. and once again you will be letting your parents down.

i really dont know what to do. like i said i feel like a failure and a disapointment.

i traped under a rock of bad grades

overall this has just been a really shitty day!!

zeppelinphan the super clutz

i have come to the conclusion that how i am going to die is by triping over something down to my death. i am such a clutz. i triped three times today.

the first time was when my practium was done and i was walking up stairs away from my practicum towards the bus stop. i was texting at the time and i triped well walking up the stairs. luckaly i managed to do that retarted run thing to prevent myself from falling. i will consider this one my own fault becasue like i said i was texting and not really looking. im just considering my self lucky that as i triped i did not drop my phone. i have droped that thing so manytimes.

the second time was after school. my mom picked me up and we went to visit my uncle and chill at his house for a bit. my mom wanted to have a smoke before we went inside and she told me to go up the stairs and knock on the door. so i start walking up the stairs. but i trip on one of the steps and start to fall. the only thing that prevents me from falling on my face was the fact that my hand slammed on the door. then my mom looks up at me and was like "what kind of retarted knock was that" and laughs at me. i back off a couple steps to avoid embaressment when my uncle opens the door. and then we get invited inside.

the third and final time that i triped to day was a couple minutes ago. im sitting here on my lappy and i see that my mom takes a bag of chips out of the cubord. she says that i can have some so i step down and walk over to the bag of chips. but then i trip over my own pajama pants and once again to prevent my self from falling i put out my hands. this time i landed on my mothers bag of chips that are sitting on the table. and it makes a really loud CRUNCH. my mom looks at me and is like wtf are you trying to destroy my chips. then i tell her no i just triped. and she calles me claudet, because im such a clutz.

what a joyful day. this is why im probs going to die from tripping over something. probably over my own shoes or something and ill fall out of my appartment window.

stupid customers

s i have not updated this blog in along time and i feel like i need to so this is probs going to be random considering that im starting to write it at 12:30 in the morning. but i was thinking about all of the stupid customers that come in at work. and i know that this is not a creative rant as there is a whole website dedicated to customer stupidity. but this blog entry is going to be about what customers have said and what i secreatly wish i could say in response.

stupid customer #
1) "hey do you work here"
actual response "yes can i help you"
what i wish i could say *sarcasim* "no i dont, im just standing here in a full uniform that happens to match the uniforms that all the emplyies that work here happend to be wearing. becasue i find it wonderfully fun and joy full to go into stores and fuck people over on my days off when i could be hanging with friends instead of being here"

2) this customer was standing right beside the frige with all the water
"do you sell water"
actual response: "yes it is right beside you, if you wanna grab it i can scan it in"
wish i could say: "did you even look, or are you so uncapable of doing anything that you have to ask without even trying to look for things"

3) "do you sell coffee"
actual response: no sorry but the starbucks right across from us does
wish i could say. "well if you turned around you would notice that the huge fucking store across from this little kiosk actually is a coffee shop. and being a kiosk there is no room for even a simple coffee maker so what makes you think i could make coffee"


thoes are what i wish i could have said now for story time. this stort is called lazy dumby

lazy dumby:

this lady is standing by the chocolate bars stairing at them and she is there for a fair amount of time so i assume that she just trying to decide what it is she wishes to buy. then after 20 minutes she grabs a coffee crisp waves it around and yells "EXCUSE ME.. CAN I GET SOME HELP OVER HERE". i look at her and say "yes, i would be pleased to help you if you could just walk over to the till i can ring in your purchas" "oh" she says. "well i guess that its my job to make things easier for you and not for you to make things easier for me" she walks around to the till and slams the chocolate bar on the counter. i ring it up and she starts to pay for her chocolate. then she continues on how she should not have had to walk around and how i should have come to her and i should have served her. now if this lady was in a wheel chair i would have been glad to do so seeing as the counters on the kiosk are high and its difficult to manuver around but seeing that she is a perfectly healthy female who has the ability to use thoes legs that god so generously gave her i figured she could manage to walk to the till.

any way after several minutes of her lecturing me on crappy service my politeness could only take so much and i looked up at her and said " im sorry mam, but i cannot physically pick up the till and movie it to whicever side of the kiosk that you wish. it is much eaier for you to just walk around". she does not have a response to this so she grabes her chocolate bar and walks off in a huff.

oh the joy of work. i cant wait till the days when i have a job were im actually exsited about going to work instead of dreading it and thinking in the back of my head. what the hell is going ot happen today

people who anny me on the bus

people who annoy me on long bus rides.


1) the girls who wear too much perfume: okay wearing a little bit of perfume is fine but im talking about thoes people were you can smell them as soon as you walk into a room and you feel like your going to sufficate becasue you dont have anymore fresh air. its even worse when they continue to spray themselfs during the bus ride and you start coughing from the stench but they still dont take the hint. this happend to me once on an hour long bus ride from my house into victoria. dear god i wanted to punch this women in the back of the head because she was sitting right infront of me. why did i not move you ask? because the bus was full. why did i not open a window? because i was up stairs on a dubble decker. that was not fun. i spent the entire trip breathing into my sweater just so i did not have to smell her overpowering perfume. lets just say yes, i did take a big deep breath of fresh air as soon as i got off the bus.

2) people who open the windown during winter (cold, rain): this pissis me of because usualy the bus drive himself has to blast the heat just to keep people warm. and then some idiot who desides that he wants "fresh air" has to open the window. and when you ask them to close it they dont listen to you then just tell you to move away from the window. or there is the other senario for me were the person who opend the window is one of thoes bus creepers who you dont even want to talk to. there are also the ones who open the window who are big intimidating men, and me being a small cowerdly female dont have the guts to ask them to close the window. so in that perspective i guess becuase of my cowerdness i have not right to complain. but in all the other cases you find yourself sitting there shivering becuase this person wanted to open the window. also the onse that say they are too hot and are wearing like five layers. if your too hot, do every one else on the bus a favor and please take off your jacket, or some of your layers. we do not wanna be cold because of you

3) people who do not respect personal space: okay i get on the bus sometimes it is full and you all have to act friendly and squish together. it is understandable especially when your one of the people on the bus who is standing. but i do not get people really getting into your personal space when you have your own seats. ill give an example. so yesterday i was on the express but going down to school. and then this older lady sat beside me. normaly i prefure that if i have to sit beside someone on the bus that it be an older person. cause you can talk with them about stuff. and there is usualy less a chance that they will be a creeper. but this old lady sat down beside me pulled food out of her bag started eating and then was partially leaning over me so she could look out the window. i know i should have just asked her to traid seats that would have been a problem solver. but really lady, come on. if you want the window that bad you can ask. i dont need your food crumbs to fall into my lap just because you want to see view out of the bus window. its kind of annoying.

4) creepiers: if you have ever taken the bus you know these people. not to be sterotypical but all the creepiers on the bus are usualy men. its rare that i have run into a female creeper. they are the onse that will get on the bus and kinda stager. not becuase they have a mental dissability or anything but becasue they are sometimes drunk and its not that its a bad thing for people who have had to much to drink to get on the bus. but its the people that look dirty, smell bad, give you the really creepy vibes like oh my god please dont sit beside me please dont sit beside me. and its the fact that you probs on the 2 in the afternoon bus and they smell of alchole. I find that whenever i have the option for a double decker bus i go up stairs. it seems to wean out the creepiers. they dont go up stairs as often. i know i sound really judging people who might just be having a hard time in life. but like i said if you have ever taken a bus. especially if your female and you have taken the bus alone you know thoes vibes were your like hmmm something is wrong with that person. please for the love of god do not let them sit beside me.



those are all the people i have for now. im sure anyone who reads this can think of more types of annoying people on the bus. feel free to give me your examples in the comments.