this happens every year. i get exsited for my birthday leading up to it but then the closer i get to the actual date the more i want to freez time and not have my birthday at all. the more i start to wish i could fly and go to neverland (although in the original story girls did not go to never land but whatever).

its not that i dont wanna grow up because i fear the responsibility that comes with getting older. its just some of the changes that happen. i donno. i used to find the idea of giving myself a birthday party lots of fun. but now i just dont want to acknolage the fact that i am getting older. its weird cause even though i do not look it at all. i am one of maybe the second oldest person in our little group of friends.

ahhh stupid birthdays

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im tired from working full time now. seems like already somedays the only thing that keeps me going at work is the thoughts of the fun things i get to do when i am no longer at work such as chillen with friends, going to a green day concert (i should really listen to the cd more before i go there i realy dont like being at a concert when i dont know the lyrics. it bugs me). and then cali with fiona. i just keep telling myself over and over these are the reasons why i am at work. to get money to go on these fun adventures


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i am not practising driving standard as much as i should be. i mean there is a pretty car sitting in my garage just for me. and if i learn how to drive properly and i get my full licence then it is all mine. to drive and to look cool and awesome. but part of me does not want the pretty car. even thought i told all my friends that i have it. part of me wants to just keep my beater car. it has peronality i tell myself. i dont know why i keep procrastinating on stuff but i do. and the whole driver licence. pretty car thing does not seem as big of a deal to me as it did about 3 weeks ago. im more into hanging with friends and continually attmepting to find time to just chill with my boyfrend rather then rushing off to get my licence....even thought there is a little voice (and both of my parents) that are telling me i should do that.

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i was bored with shannon yesterday so when my mom was cooking we just started narating what she was doing and were calling it lindas cooking show. she joined in. and took a big swig of here beer. said it was to keep the cook calm

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aggg im off to work now. i dont wanna go. i have to work with the red head for 8 hours today. shoot me now