yay for a bad day. i hate thoes days were you wake up and they end up being bad partly because of your own grumpyness but mainly just becasue bad events. so it started bad with me waking up at 4:40 which i had to wake up for because i had to work at five thirty. but i was kinda grumpy. so most of work was good. the customers were not that bad. sometimes they can be massive jerks but that is only because they are grumpy themselfs because they are stuck in an airport or something. on my breaks i personally made my bad day worse i think. not going to go into it but i did. then at 12:30 the red head showed up. now if you have read my blog before you will know right away that she is the reason for most of my strife at work. she has made alot of people unhappy and im sure the only reason why my boss has not fired her is becasue we are so desperate for people to work right now that she needs the employee. so the red head showed up complaining about the state of the kiosk and then procesded to start doing random tasks instead of cashing in like she is supposed to.
me getting frustrated cashed out and got out of there not wanting to wait to see what else she will want to lecture me with. then when i get to the other side of security to work at the main store. guess who calls the main store to complain? if you guessed the red head your right. she starts complaining about how i did not bring anything over and how its not fair to her. and all that other bullshit. so i politly try to explain that normally when coworkers come over to take over the kiosk they call first and see if there is anything that needs to be brought over because it is not fair for the morning person to have to bring stuff over in the morning, and then bring stuff over for the afternoon person as well. but did the red head listen. oh no she continues to lecture me compleatly ignoring what i just said. so i tell her to make a list and we will sort out getting her the things that she needs.
2 minutes later after this conversation she calls again. and another coworker answeres and says that the red head is specifically asking for me. again she is talking to me on the phone for ten minutes lecturing me, saying that i need to get stuff done and all that crap, be more effecient. eventually i look over and see my other coworker motioning for me to just hang up. so i tell the red head that im busy and that there is lots to do and lots of customers so i have to go and get back to work, i cant stay on the phone and talk with her. i think the offends her becasue in an angry tone she kinda says "well i have work .. and customers to. bye" then get this she fucking hangs up on me. what the hell. okay. then becasue she refuses to talk with me for the rest of the shif (which i dont mind but is kind of childish). she is getting the security gards at the airport to deliver the list of things that she needs.
instad of just picking up the phone and calling us so we can write everything down. omg this coworker is enought to make me want to quit. and the sad thing is no one else in the store likes her either. after we got the list. no one wanted to actualy go over to the other side and give the stuff to her for fear of hearing her rant and complain and all of her usual bull shit.
so that was part of the bad day. then when i got out of work i called a friend thinking i was going to hang out. which she still wanted to but we were originally go swimming but that go cancelled. i was totaly cool with that but i thought i should be nice and call my mom and let her know the change of plans.
we were going to go swimming at the beach down by a family friends house. so i was going to grab there cool 12 year old daughter karlee and make her come down to the beach with us. so when i called mom she said that she told karlee that we were comming and that she was exsited to go swimming and such.
great now im thinking i have to tell a 12 year old who loves to hang (and make fun of me) that we are not comming afterall. this turns into an argument with my mom asking her why she had to tell karlee that we were comming cause now we have to tell her we are not. and i get to be the royal bitch who just cancelled on her becasue the overall group does not want to go to the beach. so now we have an angry mom.
then as i get off the phone and start to walk to my car to go. i get attacked by a fucking crow. this stupid bird flew up and attacked me right in the head. i think it might have scrached it. i think it has babys or something close by. cause it was attaking everyone near the airport entrence. no one warned me. fucking bird i think im going to take a base ball bat to work. kill the fucking thing.
then i saw my manager go into work. and she was talking with my other coworker who i think was ranting about the red head on my behalf. so now my boss is probs having to deal with the red head. and getting an earfull about me
every one but the red head likes me at work. the red head actually said to my boss that i should be fired for doing nothing. I DO MORE THEN HER. at least i dont complain 80% of the fucking time im at fucking work.
forget the crow maybe i can take a bat to the red head lol..jk of course.
so now im calming down and making myself feel better with some vinyl(records) and junkfood
god i hope tommorow is better
Friday, July 24, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
adventures
you have to love adventures. even if they dont work out the way that you would like them to. so addy, karen and desided to go up island to courtney on an adventure. we took the train up there and back. this is going to disapoint karen a bit but i am not as much of a train enthusist as she is. i would rather go on a road trip. i mean. i would definitly chose the train over the grey hound cause its more comfortable and its cheeper. but if i had the option to drive i would. anyway so sunday morning we get up early and we catch the ten oclock train. this is a five hour train ride (so long) but it was fun. there were lots of pictures taken on that train ride. there were actually lots of pictures taken in general on that trip but alot of them were taken on the ride up.
then once we got to courtney it was a ten minute walk to our hotel. we chilled for a bit then addy and i desided to go on a quest for irn bru. but this irn bru was not technicly in courtney. oh no that would be way way way to easy. it was supposed to be in quality foods in comox. so addy and i desided to go for a long walk to the store. i was stupid as usual and wore jeans. so we walked an hour and a half in the scortiching heat to comox. when we got to qality foods they were out of irn bru. (fuck fuck fuck). oh well we had an adventure although im pretty sure that i got a bit of heat stroke because i had a burning head ache for the rest of the night. addy felt pretty bad and i was kind of a bitch and buged her about it a bit to much. i was joking but sometimes that can go to far. we took a taxi back to our hotel so that we would not have to walk an hour and a half in the heat to get back. that was like 20 bucks right there to get back.
once we got back i desided to go for a swim in the pool with karen to cool off. addy went up the road to look at the lybrary. then i kinda just zoned out in the hotel room grabing my head trying to make the trobbing pain go away. and addy went for a walk. and checked out hot shirtless guys apprently and got comments on her awesome shirt. which is actually my led zeppelin houses of the holy shirt. (addy i want that shirt back. i will lend you a different zeppelin shirt if you want but i want that one,). then karen and i took some amusing videos. which addy was included in later once she got back.
fiona was supposed to hang with us but unfortinitly she did not get out of camp untill around ten and did not show up till around 10:30-11. the sleep was not that great there were people yelling and running up and down the hotel slaming doors and knocking like crazy. silly drunk people. it was not untill about 2 in the morning that i could not take it anymore so i called the front desk and complained and eventually it got quiet and i got some sleep.
then the next day (today) was full of the train ride back. i actually sleeped for most of that. it was cute though at one point i woke up and in the seat across the aisl from me there was this little kid and she was waking up from sleeping also. we both sort of had that sort of grogy sort of just woke up stare on us. and we were both kinda out of it and looking at each other. so i waved at her. and she waved back. she was cute.
also as i stared out the constant amount of trees going by the little kid in me was thinking how awesome it would be to just live in a giant tree house. not like a kids tree house. but to actually have enough money to hire professionals to build an actual house that could be in trees and live in it. then i started thinking if i was that ritch and i actually did that i would not want just to live in a tree house paradise. although it would be awesome. i would want to actually do something with my life. i mean if i was that ritch i would still want to be a preschool teacher. then i thought.
OMG
how awesome would it be to have that much money build a tree house/ preschool. aslong as it was safe enough. how many kids would want to go to that school. how awesome it would be. well i guess my house would be higher up in the tree. the school would have to be lower, so incase kids fall they did not hurt. basically not in the tree at all. but still it would be pretty freaking awesome.
then after this thought i fell asleep again. dreaming about wonderfull things such as living in a tree. being like tarzan and jane. running away from civilizaton and just living in the woods.
if only.
then once we got to courtney it was a ten minute walk to our hotel. we chilled for a bit then addy and i desided to go on a quest for irn bru. but this irn bru was not technicly in courtney. oh no that would be way way way to easy. it was supposed to be in quality foods in comox. so addy and i desided to go for a long walk to the store. i was stupid as usual and wore jeans. so we walked an hour and a half in the scortiching heat to comox. when we got to qality foods they were out of irn bru. (fuck fuck fuck). oh well we had an adventure although im pretty sure that i got a bit of heat stroke because i had a burning head ache for the rest of the night. addy felt pretty bad and i was kind of a bitch and buged her about it a bit to much. i was joking but sometimes that can go to far. we took a taxi back to our hotel so that we would not have to walk an hour and a half in the heat to get back. that was like 20 bucks right there to get back.
once we got back i desided to go for a swim in the pool with karen to cool off. addy went up the road to look at the lybrary. then i kinda just zoned out in the hotel room grabing my head trying to make the trobbing pain go away. and addy went for a walk. and checked out hot shirtless guys apprently and got comments on her awesome shirt. which is actually my led zeppelin houses of the holy shirt. (addy i want that shirt back. i will lend you a different zeppelin shirt if you want but i want that one,). then karen and i took some amusing videos. which addy was included in later once she got back.
fiona was supposed to hang with us but unfortinitly she did not get out of camp untill around ten and did not show up till around 10:30-11. the sleep was not that great there were people yelling and running up and down the hotel slaming doors and knocking like crazy. silly drunk people. it was not untill about 2 in the morning that i could not take it anymore so i called the front desk and complained and eventually it got quiet and i got some sleep.
then the next day (today) was full of the train ride back. i actually sleeped for most of that. it was cute though at one point i woke up and in the seat across the aisl from me there was this little kid and she was waking up from sleeping also. we both sort of had that sort of grogy sort of just woke up stare on us. and we were both kinda out of it and looking at each other. so i waved at her. and she waved back. she was cute.
also as i stared out the constant amount of trees going by the little kid in me was thinking how awesome it would be to just live in a giant tree house. not like a kids tree house. but to actually have enough money to hire professionals to build an actual house that could be in trees and live in it. then i started thinking if i was that ritch and i actually did that i would not want just to live in a tree house paradise. although it would be awesome. i would want to actually do something with my life. i mean if i was that ritch i would still want to be a preschool teacher. then i thought.
OMG
how awesome would it be to have that much money build a tree house/ preschool. aslong as it was safe enough. how many kids would want to go to that school. how awesome it would be. well i guess my house would be higher up in the tree. the school would have to be lower, so incase kids fall they did not hurt. basically not in the tree at all. but still it would be pretty freaking awesome.
then after this thought i fell asleep again. dreaming about wonderfull things such as living in a tree. being like tarzan and jane. running away from civilizaton and just living in the woods.
if only.
Friday, July 17, 2009
coughing and dieing
im sick im tired and i feel gross. i am running on high lack of sleep becasue last night i was not able to sleep due to the fact that i was coughing my lungs out most of the night. my lips hurt becasue my nose was pluged and i had to sleep with my mouth open. sure my nose is fine when im awake but as soon as i want to sleep its pluged. i feel sweaty and gross becuase i think this is a feaver. i keep coughing. it wont stop. my dad is in the other room working. my mom is at work. all i want right now is for my dad to be like laura your to sick to go to work. go back to bed i will call them. i feel disgusting, and i just want someone to look after me.
i know that im 20 but is it wrong for me to still kinda want to be looked after when im sick? i cant call in sick my self becasue everytime i try they make me come in anyway. and pluse i will feel guilty becasue they did just give me this upcomming monday off so that i can go on an adventure up to courtney with addy and karen. i really hope im better by then. i mean its not like i can cancell on them or they are out money and cant go up becasue they need an adult (someone 19 or older) to check into the hotel. and thats me. so either way i am going to go. i just really dont wanna go and get addy and karen sick. i dont wanna make them suffer from lack of sleep becasue i am coughing all night.
my dad had this same flu or whatever it was well i was hosue sitting at stephans. and he said it lasted him a week. oh fuck i really hope it does not last a week. ..im coughing alot still. i was in my bathroom and i coughed so much i felt like i was going to throw up. i hate it when that happens. ahhh please let me be better by sunday. or at least make it so im no longer coughing in the middle of the night i dont wanna keep my friends up. maybe if i take one of karens sleeping pills i will be out of it. and wont cough and then they can get sleep also.
ahh i dont want to go to work. im exausted i just want to crawl back into my bed and attempt to catch up on some of the sleep that i did not get last night.
i want someone to look after me well im sick.
i know that im 20 but is it wrong for me to still kinda want to be looked after when im sick? i cant call in sick my self becasue everytime i try they make me come in anyway. and pluse i will feel guilty becasue they did just give me this upcomming monday off so that i can go on an adventure up to courtney with addy and karen. i really hope im better by then. i mean its not like i can cancell on them or they are out money and cant go up becasue they need an adult (someone 19 or older) to check into the hotel. and thats me. so either way i am going to go. i just really dont wanna go and get addy and karen sick. i dont wanna make them suffer from lack of sleep becasue i am coughing all night.
my dad had this same flu or whatever it was well i was hosue sitting at stephans. and he said it lasted him a week. oh fuck i really hope it does not last a week. ..im coughing alot still. i was in my bathroom and i coughed so much i felt like i was going to throw up. i hate it when that happens. ahhh please let me be better by sunday. or at least make it so im no longer coughing in the middle of the night i dont wanna keep my friends up. maybe if i take one of karens sleeping pills i will be out of it. and wont cough and then they can get sleep also.
ahh i dont want to go to work. im exausted i just want to crawl back into my bed and attempt to catch up on some of the sleep that i did not get last night.
i want someone to look after me well im sick.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
chocolate the unicorn
once apone a time there was a little unicorne his name was chocolate
chocolate wanted to rule the world
but there was one thing that was preventing him from doing tha. that was the lack of aposable thumbs
how could a unicorn rule the world if he cant even open a door?
so chocolate when on a mission to find a dr that would give him an abosable thumb
he first clinic he went up to looked friendly enough
but when he got there he saw that there were protesters holding up sighns and yelling things
saying things like to give a unicorn aposible thumbs was an abomnation against god, and that if god wanted unicorns to have thumbs they would have been created with them
chocolate thought that these people were silly
chocolate the unicorn was pro choice to getting aposible thumbs. were these people were pro originality. they belived that he should stay the same
feeling uncomfortable around all the crazy protesters chocolate desided to go to a different clinic to get thumbs
but as he keeped seeing the good ones he also saw more and more protesters getting ruder and ruder. feeling uncomfortable and ashamed becasue they were putting him down. chocolate continued to look for a doctor without protesters that would give him a thumb
finaly he had to go to a back ally one. were it was cheep and dirty but the doctor was willing to give him a thumb. and there were no protesters because no one knew where this pace was unlike the clean safe hospital places were all the protesters were that were getting all up in chocolates face and frightend him
unfortinitly the doctor at the back ally hospital did not have a dr degree so he was not a real dr. and he killed chocolate. chocolate would have lived if he had access to a safe place to get a thumb. but he did not. because crazy protesters were alway harrasing him....THE END
up comming adventure
question. what happens when you mix an addy with a laura with a karen
--- addy+ laura+karen
then you add un the urge for irn bru
-----addy+ laura+ karen+ irn bru
then add in the 438 km round trip to and from courtney to get the iron bru
-----addy + laura+ karen+ irn bru+ 438 km
----then minuse about 80 dollers each so thats about 240 dollers
---- addy+ laura+ karen+ irn bru+ 438 km
______________________________
240 dollers
dont forget some how round/factor in the exsitement. or giddy girlness. not to mention others might be comming. and all the general all around crazy ness that happens with us so
1000% CRAZYNESS times two (addy+ laura + karen+ iron bru + 483 km)
________________________________________________________
lack of sleep (240 dollers)
==EPICLY EPIC ADVENTURE
this sunday and monday are going to be fun!!!!
--- addy+ laura+karen
then you add un the urge for irn bru
-----addy+ laura+ karen+ irn bru
then add in the 438 km round trip to and from courtney to get the iron bru
-----addy + laura+ karen+ irn bru+ 438 km
----then minuse about 80 dollers each so thats about 240 dollers
---- addy+ laura+ karen+ irn bru+ 438 km
______________________________
240 dollers
dont forget some how round/factor in the exsitement. or giddy girlness. not to mention others might be comming. and all the general all around crazy ness that happens with us so
1000% CRAZYNESS times two (addy+ laura + karen+ iron bru + 483 km)
________________________________________________________
lack of sleep (240 dollers)
==EPICLY EPIC ADVENTURE
this sunday and monday are going to be fun!!!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
grumpy
ahh so i did not get a good night sleep. it was too hot. i could hear stephans hampster in its cage most of the night. the dog barked several times. the tenants were playing some kinda of music that had to much base for me to just tune out and sleep through. then some neibour decided to get out a power washer which was really loud that i could hear from here. the other neibour's kids have not stoped yelling. which i can understand kids yell and have fun but when your tired and grumpy its like ahhh what the fuck.
i feel sweaty and gross because it was way to hot last night but i dont have time for a shower cause i have to go to work soon.
im grumpy so im jelouse of addy who gets to just stay home and chill today. more and more latley my days off have just felt not that relaxing. my days off have not be days to myself. now dont get me wrong i love hanging with my friends and most of the time i do it is because it was my idea in the first place. but it is catching up with me. and realy making me wonder why people work there whole life in jobs that they hate. i am so glad i am going to school in september to learn to become a preschool teacher. a job that will no doubt make me tired just as much as anyother job would. but at least i will enjoy it. instead of waking up in the morning and thinking fuck, i have to go to work again.
i really wanna go to the lake. it is so hot out. and the last time i was supposed to go to the lake it rained.
maybe i can convince someone to wake up early and go to the lake with me on sunday before it is too busy and that way. i will still have time to come home and get changed to go out to the dress up dinner.
things are getting broken at the hosue we are house sitting. from the dog and other stuff. i dread having to explain this to the people who own the hosue when they get back.
im getting home sick for my own house. i miss my bed. and my room. i miss my family. even thought my dad sometimes has an overlywittyness and likes to make fun of me. but that is okay.
when i get off work today i am comming back to stephans, having a shower, putting on my pjs and doing nothing.
i dont want to hang with people. maybe ill just read a book or put in a movie.
the budz mom wants me to hosue sit for two weeks when im done house sitting here. i said id think about it but in all honesty i really dont want to. i just want to go home.
i need to get my full licence still ahhh
i need to get better at driving standard.
i cant fucking wait till im off this rock and out in california. its getting to the point were stimple things that is should be exsited about like getting my licence are starting to feel like a chore becuase im thinking to much about time and money and obligations.
this is fucking stupid. get me out of here
I WANT TO BREAK FREE
40 days till california
i feel sweaty and gross because it was way to hot last night but i dont have time for a shower cause i have to go to work soon.
im grumpy so im jelouse of addy who gets to just stay home and chill today. more and more latley my days off have just felt not that relaxing. my days off have not be days to myself. now dont get me wrong i love hanging with my friends and most of the time i do it is because it was my idea in the first place. but it is catching up with me. and realy making me wonder why people work there whole life in jobs that they hate. i am so glad i am going to school in september to learn to become a preschool teacher. a job that will no doubt make me tired just as much as anyother job would. but at least i will enjoy it. instead of waking up in the morning and thinking fuck, i have to go to work again.
i really wanna go to the lake. it is so hot out. and the last time i was supposed to go to the lake it rained.
maybe i can convince someone to wake up early and go to the lake with me on sunday before it is too busy and that way. i will still have time to come home and get changed to go out to the dress up dinner.
things are getting broken at the hosue we are house sitting. from the dog and other stuff. i dread having to explain this to the people who own the hosue when they get back.
im getting home sick for my own house. i miss my bed. and my room. i miss my family. even thought my dad sometimes has an overlywittyness and likes to make fun of me. but that is okay.
when i get off work today i am comming back to stephans, having a shower, putting on my pjs and doing nothing.
i dont want to hang with people. maybe ill just read a book or put in a movie.
the budz mom wants me to hosue sit for two weeks when im done house sitting here. i said id think about it but in all honesty i really dont want to. i just want to go home.
i need to get my full licence still ahhh
i need to get better at driving standard.
i cant fucking wait till im off this rock and out in california. its getting to the point were stimple things that is should be exsited about like getting my licence are starting to feel like a chore becuase im thinking to much about time and money and obligations.
this is fucking stupid. get me out of here
I WANT TO BREAK FREE
40 days till california
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
more thoughts of my wondering mind
its really easy to make matty hyper and run at tackle people (talking about the dog not my bf ...although if i bribed with cookies maybe :P)
shannon and addy can be really bipolar when they play video games at first its a hell of a lot of swearing and saying fuck and then they start singing im walking on sunshine. ha ha. i love my friends. shannon can actually sing. kinda makes me wonder why she never joined choir or something were she could make her voice even better and emphasize the talent and have other people hear it. oh well i guess some like to share there talent and other love to hide it away and wait for it to be discoverd.
i bought a shirt at blue notes the other day. because it screamed hippy to me. i love the who hippy thing. but i find it kinda ironic that im buying new cloths to look like a hippy when true hippies go thrift shops. i really wanna go downtown to value village sometime and raid there. i always come out with something cheap that fits. thrift stores are fun if you go on treasure hunts.
i really want an old army jacket. i think it would be cool. people tell me to go check out army surplus stores.but part of me does not want to give them money. i am determined to find a cool one in a thrift store or something.
work is not to bad but there are somedays when i am like why the fuck am i here. just because it makes me tired. i come to work at fivethirty in the morning today and all ready i get a phone call from ze boss. saying that stuff is getting done wrong and that i need to take the chair out of the kiosk before i start working because people are sitting and not working.
i find this a bit annoying because when your in a kiosk and everything is stocked its kinda nice to just sit...when there are no customers i mean i understand not sitting when there is a line up and people you could be convincing to sell stuff to. but there are times when there is no one to sell things to. there can be an hour or so before people show up casue everyone left on the airplane. so gahhh.
and i got off work late today cause a coworking is sick with shingles. dang.
ha ha ha shannon is swearing at addy again. yelling stuff about bannans saying that she should eat them. addy saying she does not want to eat the bannana. shannon has a boger out her nose and she cant get it. she almost lost the game picking her nose. saying that it was addys turn to win anyway. now they are in a desert.
ahh i have to work early tommorow also. but hey i get to sleep in on thrusday cause no work yay. and im going to sleep after work tommorow because i said i would hang with william when he gets off of work and i dont wanna be compleatly dead tired and end hanging out early because of my lack of sleep.
omg omg omg 43 days till im backpacking in cali with fiona.
and that involves a mini road trip to seatle with natasha.
its going to be fun.
ha ha ha shannon is going to kill me when she reads this blog and notises that i mentioned that she picked her nose. now the whole interwebs nows that she does that tehe
i have to hang with people more. matt especally, stupid tiredness, and stupid work. even thought it give me money for tavel and school books
okay this post is getting to ADD so i think im going to have to stop OH SHINNY THINGS
shannon and addy can be really bipolar when they play video games at first its a hell of a lot of swearing and saying fuck and then they start singing im walking on sunshine. ha ha. i love my friends. shannon can actually sing. kinda makes me wonder why she never joined choir or something were she could make her voice even better and emphasize the talent and have other people hear it. oh well i guess some like to share there talent and other love to hide it away and wait for it to be discoverd.
i bought a shirt at blue notes the other day. because it screamed hippy to me. i love the who hippy thing. but i find it kinda ironic that im buying new cloths to look like a hippy when true hippies go thrift shops. i really wanna go downtown to value village sometime and raid there. i always come out with something cheap that fits. thrift stores are fun if you go on treasure hunts.
i really want an old army jacket. i think it would be cool. people tell me to go check out army surplus stores.but part of me does not want to give them money. i am determined to find a cool one in a thrift store or something.
work is not to bad but there are somedays when i am like why the fuck am i here. just because it makes me tired. i come to work at fivethirty in the morning today and all ready i get a phone call from ze boss. saying that stuff is getting done wrong and that i need to take the chair out of the kiosk before i start working because people are sitting and not working.
i find this a bit annoying because when your in a kiosk and everything is stocked its kinda nice to just sit...when there are no customers i mean i understand not sitting when there is a line up and people you could be convincing to sell stuff to. but there are times when there is no one to sell things to. there can be an hour or so before people show up casue everyone left on the airplane. so gahhh.
and i got off work late today cause a coworking is sick with shingles. dang.
ha ha ha shannon is swearing at addy again. yelling stuff about bannans saying that she should eat them. addy saying she does not want to eat the bannana. shannon has a boger out her nose and she cant get it. she almost lost the game picking her nose. saying that it was addys turn to win anyway. now they are in a desert.
ahh i have to work early tommorow also. but hey i get to sleep in on thrusday cause no work yay. and im going to sleep after work tommorow because i said i would hang with william when he gets off of work and i dont wanna be compleatly dead tired and end hanging out early because of my lack of sleep.
omg omg omg 43 days till im backpacking in cali with fiona.
and that involves a mini road trip to seatle with natasha.
its going to be fun.
ha ha ha shannon is going to kill me when she reads this blog and notises that i mentioned that she picked her nose. now the whole interwebs nows that she does that tehe
i have to hang with people more. matt especally, stupid tiredness, and stupid work. even thought it give me money for tavel and school books
okay this post is getting to ADD so i think im going to have to stop OH SHINNY THINGS
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
my wondering mind
i find it interesting how our minds skip from one topic to the next here is an example for me how i was thinking at work:
owww my sholder blade hurts.
i think i pulled a muscel
its getting better hopefully it stays that way
i google sholder blade pain and two main things came up although i dont trust google i have one of two things happend. either
a) i pulled a muscel, or
b) i have cancer
i highly doubt its cancer considering that google is not a doctor and also considering the fact that it does not hurt as much as it did two days ago it cant be cancer.
cause according to google it can only be cancer if it stays the way it is or gets worse.
stupid google thinking i have cancer.
that would really suck if i had cancer.
i would hate to go through all that treatment.
what would happen if i got cancer and then was told i only had a month or less to live. like that guy in the movie one week.
i dont know what i would do...but i wonder how many people would be sad about me dieing.
well i know people will be sad but what would be the depth of their sadness.
who would cry???? would karen cry she never crys but i think she would cry.
would addy cry...i think so also but i can also see her just having alot of rage.
i have no idea what shannon or chris' reactions would be...they would be sad, i hope. but would chris cry...i dont see him crying. not because it was me but because i just cant picture him crying.
now would shannon show rage or sadness....i donno.
fiona would be sad i know that for sure.
what about matt....oh god i dont want to think about that
why am i thinking about peoples reactions if i were to die. why does it make me happy to think of them being sad over the fact if i died.
i think its because knowing that they are sad over me being gone in a weird sort of way deffinitly shows how loved i am. even though i know that im loved.
love is a word that gets thrown around way to offten. and it is losing its purpose. i myself am guilty of doing this even though i try not to. even with simple things like i love my convertable. oh man i really have to practise driving more so i can drive that car. then i have to get my full licence. but that costs money. and i want my money to go towards california with fiona. so we can have fun and dress like hippies. that will be fun. i like being a hippy even though it annoys will.
sometimes its fun annoying will i should stop doing that. i know sometimes i cross the line and get away with it just because im a girl. which is stupid i should stop doing that and start considering things. okay zeppelinphan try not to annoy william.....as much. cause i feel bad when i annoy him. and then he retaliates. and then matt trys to defend me. then william is mad at both of us...and matt seems mad at him. thats not good. i feel like im damaging there friendship. i never want to be that girl friend that damages friendships. i allways hated thoes girls. so i dont wanna be one of the people i hate...
owww my sholder still hurts
owww my sholder blade hurts.
i think i pulled a muscel
its getting better hopefully it stays that way
i google sholder blade pain and two main things came up although i dont trust google i have one of two things happend. either
a) i pulled a muscel, or
b) i have cancer
i highly doubt its cancer considering that google is not a doctor and also considering the fact that it does not hurt as much as it did two days ago it cant be cancer.
cause according to google it can only be cancer if it stays the way it is or gets worse.
stupid google thinking i have cancer.
that would really suck if i had cancer.
i would hate to go through all that treatment.
what would happen if i got cancer and then was told i only had a month or less to live. like that guy in the movie one week.
i dont know what i would do...but i wonder how many people would be sad about me dieing.
well i know people will be sad but what would be the depth of their sadness.
who would cry???? would karen cry she never crys but i think she would cry.
would addy cry...i think so also but i can also see her just having alot of rage.
i have no idea what shannon or chris' reactions would be...they would be sad, i hope. but would chris cry...i dont see him crying. not because it was me but because i just cant picture him crying.
now would shannon show rage or sadness....i donno.
fiona would be sad i know that for sure.
what about matt....oh god i dont want to think about that
why am i thinking about peoples reactions if i were to die. why does it make me happy to think of them being sad over the fact if i died.
i think its because knowing that they are sad over me being gone in a weird sort of way deffinitly shows how loved i am. even though i know that im loved.
love is a word that gets thrown around way to offten. and it is losing its purpose. i myself am guilty of doing this even though i try not to. even with simple things like i love my convertable. oh man i really have to practise driving more so i can drive that car. then i have to get my full licence. but that costs money. and i want my money to go towards california with fiona. so we can have fun and dress like hippies. that will be fun. i like being a hippy even though it annoys will.
sometimes its fun annoying will i should stop doing that. i know sometimes i cross the line and get away with it just because im a girl. which is stupid i should stop doing that and start considering things. okay zeppelinphan try not to annoy william.....as much. cause i feel bad when i annoy him. and then he retaliates. and then matt trys to defend me. then william is mad at both of us...and matt seems mad at him. thats not good. i feel like im damaging there friendship. i never want to be that girl friend that damages friendships. i allways hated thoes girls. so i dont wanna be one of the people i hate...
owww my sholder still hurts
Saturday, June 27, 2009
fuck my mind
i am starting to wonder if i can take some classes to get me to calm the fuck down and stop over reacting. i am one of thoes people who always thinks up the worst possible senerio. i will give you an example of this.
say im walking home (i walked home alot in high school so shut up this works) and well im walking home this a car behind me starts to slow down. now most normal people in this world would start to think hmm well sence my house is near the ferries. they are probs slowing down to get to the ferries or to make the turn off. or maybe they are slowing down to ask directions. or maybe they live up around here and they are slowing down to turn up their drive way. but no no no none of that goes in zeppelinphans mind right away because i am the pro at overacting. the thoughts that go on in my head are. why the fuck is a car slowing down behind me. what does the driver want. maybe i should not get to close to the car..girls do get abducted.
and all these other weird senerios i used to start thinking where if it was a creeper in the car slwoing down behind me i would think in detail weather it was better to try to run to a house near by but then oh no i dont know how the people in thoes houses maybe they are creepers also..then id be fucked even more. and what if the creeper in the house and in the car know each other then i am so dead.
and my over thinking like this would actually escalade untill i got home. and i would realize wow im fucked.
i do this whole overthinking senerio shit with my friends. when i cant hear from one i start to worry that something happend. it does not help when i call there house and there parental gardian thinks that they are with me.....and i dont know what to say to them. i should stay calm but then i start to think. why would my friend tell there parental gardian that they are with me. and not tell me. i mean i dont mind lying for my friends depending on what they are going to do or wear they are going but i would like to be filled in on the fact that they are supposed to be with me so i know this.
otherwise i get worried no only that but i feel like im fucking over my friends in saying actually im sorry but they are not with me i was actually calling to find out where they are...shit.
then i once again think of worse case senerio insstead of remaing calm and thinking where are they normallywhen they are not home. and i stupidly start calling places instead of staying calm and i picture my friends in the worse case senerio and i try to think of what i can do. and i escallade situations instead of giving that friend his/her space like i should.
and this tends to not turn out good.
i really need to find some kind of school to that will teach me to calm the fuck down. becuase otherwise im eventually going to push someone over the edge.
cause as of yet..my over reacting/ overthinking situations has not helped situations but in fact made them worse.
say im walking home (i walked home alot in high school so shut up this works) and well im walking home this a car behind me starts to slow down. now most normal people in this world would start to think hmm well sence my house is near the ferries. they are probs slowing down to get to the ferries or to make the turn off. or maybe they are slowing down to ask directions. or maybe they live up around here and they are slowing down to turn up their drive way. but no no no none of that goes in zeppelinphans mind right away because i am the pro at overacting. the thoughts that go on in my head are. why the fuck is a car slowing down behind me. what does the driver want. maybe i should not get to close to the car..girls do get abducted.
and all these other weird senerios i used to start thinking where if it was a creeper in the car slwoing down behind me i would think in detail weather it was better to try to run to a house near by but then oh no i dont know how the people in thoes houses maybe they are creepers also..then id be fucked even more. and what if the creeper in the house and in the car know each other then i am so dead.
and my over thinking like this would actually escalade untill i got home. and i would realize wow im fucked.
i do this whole overthinking senerio shit with my friends. when i cant hear from one i start to worry that something happend. it does not help when i call there house and there parental gardian thinks that they are with me.....and i dont know what to say to them. i should stay calm but then i start to think. why would my friend tell there parental gardian that they are with me. and not tell me. i mean i dont mind lying for my friends depending on what they are going to do or wear they are going but i would like to be filled in on the fact that they are supposed to be with me so i know this.
otherwise i get worried no only that but i feel like im fucking over my friends in saying actually im sorry but they are not with me i was actually calling to find out where they are...shit.
then i once again think of worse case senerio insstead of remaing calm and thinking where are they normallywhen they are not home. and i stupidly start calling places instead of staying calm and i picture my friends in the worse case senerio and i try to think of what i can do. and i escallade situations instead of giving that friend his/her space like i should.
and this tends to not turn out good.
i really need to find some kind of school to that will teach me to calm the fuck down. becuase otherwise im eventually going to push someone over the edge.
cause as of yet..my over reacting/ overthinking situations has not helped situations but in fact made them worse.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
so im house sitting. and i dont have my lappy becasue only a certain number of compys can hook up to the wireless. i tryed adding favorites in stephans computer so i have a couple. i found some of my regualar websites that i check. but i also notised that some peoples blogs dont have a follow option so i am not able to read thoes blogs...matt i need your blog link. and if anyone can recomend good websites to check out. if your going to recomend comics i already found least i could do, explosm, girls with sling shots, ctr-alt-del, and xkct or something. anyway yes.
today was fun we bought steak and went to the scottish butcher and have had fun so far and shannon and i and possibly fiona are going to go and see transformers tonight so that should be fun.
anyway addy is making dinner and i should go and help her with that. because we are all going to be eating it and its not fair to make her do all the work. plus if she does do all the work i will have to do all the dishes
i need to learn how to cook
i hate hearing hampters in the middle of the nights
stupid dog is going to sleep in addys room from now on..fucking barked
shannon yawns really lowdly when she is tired she can sleep on the couch from now on :P
anyway im off
today was fun we bought steak and went to the scottish butcher and have had fun so far and shannon and i and possibly fiona are going to go and see transformers tonight so that should be fun.
anyway addy is making dinner and i should go and help her with that. because we are all going to be eating it and its not fair to make her do all the work. plus if she does do all the work i will have to do all the dishes
i need to learn how to cook
i hate hearing hampters in the middle of the nights
stupid dog is going to sleep in addys room from now on..fucking barked
shannon yawns really lowdly when she is tired she can sleep on the couch from now on :P
anyway im off
Sunday, June 21, 2009
it is fathers day
so its fathersday. the day where we are supposed to show love and respcet our dads. and with me i am 100% cool with doing this with my father.
i love giving him presents and showing him love. but i have been having a thought the past couple of days leading up to fathers day. there are really some dads in this world who do not deserve to get presents or get wished happy fathers day. i know this sounds really harsh right now but it is true. i mean i have friends who have fathers who they have not seen sence they were 14. or fathers who all around are not good people. now im not talking simply about one friend who has a dad who it apears made some bad choices in his father daughter realationship. what i am talking about is the men who are not fathers..in the sence of the word.
father:a man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider.
so if your abusing and abandoning your kids. im sorry but in my mind that does not make you a father. if your being manipulative and lacking love you are not a father. if you are pushing your kids aside for your own benifite. once again you are not a father.
just because some man was too stupid to wear a condom. or some women was not smart enough to use birth control that does not make you a parent. that makes you an idiot. a parent is exsiactly what is says in the defition of father (without the male part) someone who is loving, and cares for you. not someone who is making your life more difficult. or someone who makes you struggle.
i know for me i am spoiled in alot of ways in my life. and the fact that i was born into such a loving family with parents who actually know what it means to be parents who actually care for me and look after me is one of them. parents who strive to make my life easier instead of more difficult. now one of the reasons for this i think may be partly because my father himself did not have the best father. and he is constintly struggling to make sure he does not make the same mistakes that his father did and that he is always here for us and to provide us with a loving inviroment. even though both of his kids could no longer be considered kids but instead are considered adults.
and yet as i write this another thought comes into my mind. it is the quote that goes something like you cant choose your family but you can choose your friends. this quote makes me thankful of that fact.
and then once again i place in here a definition. family:a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals and, frequently, live together.
that to me sounds like my friends. and i know for a fact that certain friends i actually do call my little sister and such. you i do fully consider family. i do wish you to know that ill be here to look out for you. that you are family.
maybe we can chose our family..maybe the quote is wrong. because that definition really makes all my friends sound like family. i would not choose to be around people i dont like.
i know im going off track with this topic. but what i think i am mainly trying to get across in this blog post is simply this. for thoes of you who do have a loving father and a good family. please do your best to show your dad that you love him today. because if he is anything like my father he deserves it. and he probably worked really hard to give you the good life that you have and to support you.
and for thoes friends of mine who dont have such a good family life or a good relationship with there father. i openly consider you my family. i would not have made you my friends other wise. because it is not just the family that you live with but the family that you choose who shape you. who make you who you are. and who you should thank every once and a while. so to thoes friends happy fathers day. you have been great to me and if we are going by the definition of father which is careing and protective you have all been fathers.(yes females can be fathers too). and i hope that some of you can see me in the same light too. but if not. all i can say is that im here for you and that i love you.
best wishes
happy fathers day <3
i love giving him presents and showing him love. but i have been having a thought the past couple of days leading up to fathers day. there are really some dads in this world who do not deserve to get presents or get wished happy fathers day. i know this sounds really harsh right now but it is true. i mean i have friends who have fathers who they have not seen sence they were 14. or fathers who all around are not good people. now im not talking simply about one friend who has a dad who it apears made some bad choices in his father daughter realationship. what i am talking about is the men who are not fathers..in the sence of the word.
father:a man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider.
so if your abusing and abandoning your kids. im sorry but in my mind that does not make you a father. if your being manipulative and lacking love you are not a father. if you are pushing your kids aside for your own benifite. once again you are not a father.
just because some man was too stupid to wear a condom. or some women was not smart enough to use birth control that does not make you a parent. that makes you an idiot. a parent is exsiactly what is says in the defition of father (without the male part) someone who is loving, and cares for you. not someone who is making your life more difficult. or someone who makes you struggle.
i know for me i am spoiled in alot of ways in my life. and the fact that i was born into such a loving family with parents who actually know what it means to be parents who actually care for me and look after me is one of them. parents who strive to make my life easier instead of more difficult. now one of the reasons for this i think may be partly because my father himself did not have the best father. and he is constintly struggling to make sure he does not make the same mistakes that his father did and that he is always here for us and to provide us with a loving inviroment. even though both of his kids could no longer be considered kids but instead are considered adults.
and yet as i write this another thought comes into my mind. it is the quote that goes something like you cant choose your family but you can choose your friends. this quote makes me thankful of that fact.
and then once again i place in here a definition. family:a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals and, frequently, live together.
that to me sounds like my friends. and i know for a fact that certain friends i actually do call my little sister and such. you i do fully consider family. i do wish you to know that ill be here to look out for you. that you are family.
maybe we can chose our family..maybe the quote is wrong. because that definition really makes all my friends sound like family. i would not choose to be around people i dont like.
i know im going off track with this topic. but what i think i am mainly trying to get across in this blog post is simply this. for thoes of you who do have a loving father and a good family. please do your best to show your dad that you love him today. because if he is anything like my father he deserves it. and he probably worked really hard to give you the good life that you have and to support you.
and for thoes friends of mine who dont have such a good family life or a good relationship with there father. i openly consider you my family. i would not have made you my friends other wise. because it is not just the family that you live with but the family that you choose who shape you. who make you who you are. and who you should thank every once and a while. so to thoes friends happy fathers day. you have been great to me and if we are going by the definition of father which is careing and protective you have all been fathers.(yes females can be fathers too). and i hope that some of you can see me in the same light too. but if not. all i can say is that im here for you and that i love you.
best wishes
happy fathers day <3
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
love love love <3
i lack creatvity. no thats not right. i lack creativity right now. its late. and i dont feel like writing a poem or anything of the sort. but i wish to put something beautiful on here. something expressing love. and so i thought i would put one of my all time favorite love songs on here. off here are they lyrics. the song is "the rain song" by led zeppelin:
This is the springtime of my loving - the second season I am to know
You are the sunlight in my growing - so little warmth I've felt before.
It isn't hard to feel me glowing - I watched the fire that grew so low.
It is the summer of my smiles - flee from me Keepers of the Gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes. It is to you I give this tune.
Ain't so hard to recognize - These things are clear to all from
time to time.
Talk Talk - I've felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go. I cursed the gloom that set upon us...
But I know that I love you so
These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion - I see the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient - Upon us all a little rain must fall.
This is the springtime of my loving - the second season I am to know
You are the sunlight in my growing - so little warmth I've felt before.
It isn't hard to feel me glowing - I watched the fire that grew so low.
It is the summer of my smiles - flee from me Keepers of the Gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes. It is to you I give this tune.
Ain't so hard to recognize - These things are clear to all from
time to time.
Talk Talk - I've felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go. I cursed the gloom that set upon us...
But I know that I love you so
These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion - I see the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient - Upon us all a little rain must fall.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
urge to go on rant growing. this is not going to come out how i want it to sound. i can say that right now but here is my attempt.
so before i start on a blog/rant here is a definition of beauty that i found in a dictonary:
the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
so in this definition i dont see any specific example of what someone should look like to be considered beautiful. it just says that it should bring satifaction to the mind. so tha screams to me the whole saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
why is it that we are going by magazines idea of beauty why is it that we can look at one person
and consider them beautiful because of traits that are common with societys standards but not common in real women who have actual lives. women who are not constintly in the media. women who have a life and are beautiful all the same.
like i said why is one immage considered beautiful and not another.
im tired of hearing girls compare themselfs to others. saying i whish i had her legs or her hair or her boobs (yes i know i am guilty of doing some of this myself) but why are we only looking at the one definition of beauty. why are we only looking ath the physical. in the definition that i first said at the begining of this blog it clearly said "as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest". personality. that is a big thing too. i mean you can take the most beautiful girl in the world (whatever that might look like in your mind) but if she is a bitch. she is ugly as fuck.... on a note similar note to this that my dad has said to me is "thoes really good looking bitchy girls are fun for a while. but then you grow up and you realize that you would rather be with someone who you actually like to spend time with. someone who you relate to. there are two types of girls. the kind that are only good for one thing. and the kind that you actually want to bring home to your family".
now my turn. just becasue a guy you like does not notise you...or does not want in your pants. does not mean you are not good looking. this does not mean jack shit. especially if you are still in high school. it may be the guy who is an egotistical jerk (this goes both way).
to many girls start to judge there looks based on how men (or women depending what they are into) treat them. and im sorry but im just going to say this ...THATS FUCKING RETARTED. stop putting yourself down
stop needing a man to justify to yourself that you look good
stop reading fashion magazines unless you are grown up enough to realize how fake the women in thoes magazines really are (dud i mean have you ever seen how fucking skinny and stupid thoes women look)
we all have our fat days. this i know. i mean even i have fat days and im one of the thinists chicks in my group of friends. but it is one thing to have a fat day and to actually put yourself down. to dig yourself in a whole. please laddies and men(i know this blog post is mainly directed towards girls sorry). you dont need to do that.
open your eyes and see that you are beautiful. especially all the girls that i know. even the ones that i dont get along with that well (not bad pesonalities. just sometimes people just dont get along for some reasons)
men all this goes for you too. you dont need to be super tall, you dont need to have the rocken six pack. and honestly you dont need to brag about having a big penis or anything along that.
when will people open their eyes.
you are beautiful!!!
so before i start on a blog/rant here is a definition of beauty that i found in a dictonary:
the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
so in this definition i dont see any specific example of what someone should look like to be considered beautiful. it just says that it should bring satifaction to the mind. so tha screams to me the whole saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
why is it that we are going by magazines idea of beauty why is it that we can look at one person
and consider them beautiful because of traits that are common with societys standards but not common in real women who have actual lives. women who are not constintly in the media. women who have a life and are beautiful all the same.
like i said why is one immage considered beautiful and not another.
im tired of hearing girls compare themselfs to others. saying i whish i had her legs or her hair or her boobs (yes i know i am guilty of doing some of this myself) but why are we only looking at the one definition of beauty. why are we only looking ath the physical. in the definition that i first said at the begining of this blog it clearly said "as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest". personality. that is a big thing too. i mean you can take the most beautiful girl in the world (whatever that might look like in your mind) but if she is a bitch. she is ugly as fuck.... on a note similar note to this that my dad has said to me is "thoes really good looking bitchy girls are fun for a while. but then you grow up and you realize that you would rather be with someone who you actually like to spend time with. someone who you relate to. there are two types of girls. the kind that are only good for one thing. and the kind that you actually want to bring home to your family".
now my turn. just becasue a guy you like does not notise you...or does not want in your pants. does not mean you are not good looking. this does not mean jack shit. especially if you are still in high school. it may be the guy who is an egotistical jerk (this goes both way).
to many girls start to judge there looks based on how men (or women depending what they are into) treat them. and im sorry but im just going to say this ...THATS FUCKING RETARTED. stop putting yourself down
stop needing a man to justify to yourself that you look good
stop reading fashion magazines unless you are grown up enough to realize how fake the women in thoes magazines really are (dud i mean have you ever seen how fucking skinny and stupid thoes women look)
we all have our fat days. this i know. i mean even i have fat days and im one of the thinists chicks in my group of friends. but it is one thing to have a fat day and to actually put yourself down. to dig yourself in a whole. please laddies and men(i know this blog post is mainly directed towards girls sorry). you dont need to do that.
open your eyes and see that you are beautiful. especially all the girls that i know. even the ones that i dont get along with that well (not bad pesonalities. just sometimes people just dont get along for some reasons)
men all this goes for you too. you dont need to be super tall, you dont need to have the rocken six pack. and honestly you dont need to brag about having a big penis or anything along that.
when will people open their eyes.
you are beautiful!!!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
things on my mind:
-house sitting soon. going to be so much fun, going to have freedom. going to get owned by addy several times. going to miss my bed, going to miss my shower. going to miss my record player. going to have so much fun but am also going to enjoy comming home at the end of it
- ahhhh why does my dad insist on waking me up early for pancakes. i love the food and i love that he is doing something for me and being all around awesome but sometimes all a girl wants is to sleep in
- working with red head again to today. hopefully it wont be so bad. hopeing. she does bitch about everyone at the store and slack at work and bugs the crap out of me. luckaly i am working at the kiosk today so i wont have to work with her much.
- yesterday was fun. bbq was good. tackling boyfriend was fun but in the long run was a stupid idea. i think i pulled a muscel in my leg and now it hurts to walk. work is going to be fun with a sore leg. today is going to be a long day because
***********
- how pissed i was when i thought thsi all got deleted right before i actually went to work then how happy i was right now at karens seeing that it did not get deleted
- why are words like fuck considered bad intoday society. and why do we seem to have to say the so called bad words before we figure out that they are bad.
-penis penis penis penis...im imature. but yes that word is always on my mind
- i lost my random train of thought
- there is a sexy women sitting behind me with messy hair and a hoddy thats too big for her...thats hot
-house sitting soon. going to be so much fun, going to have freedom. going to get owned by addy several times. going to miss my bed, going to miss my shower. going to miss my record player. going to have so much fun but am also going to enjoy comming home at the end of it
- ahhhh why does my dad insist on waking me up early for pancakes. i love the food and i love that he is doing something for me and being all around awesome but sometimes all a girl wants is to sleep in
- working with red head again to today. hopefully it wont be so bad. hopeing. she does bitch about everyone at the store and slack at work and bugs the crap out of me. luckaly i am working at the kiosk today so i wont have to work with her much.
- yesterday was fun. bbq was good. tackling boyfriend was fun but in the long run was a stupid idea. i think i pulled a muscel in my leg and now it hurts to walk. work is going to be fun with a sore leg. today is going to be a long day because
***********
- how pissed i was when i thought thsi all got deleted right before i actually went to work then how happy i was right now at karens seeing that it did not get deleted
- why are words like fuck considered bad intoday society. and why do we seem to have to say the so called bad words before we figure out that they are bad.
-penis penis penis penis...im imature. but yes that word is always on my mind
- i lost my random train of thought
- there is a sexy women sitting behind me with messy hair and a hoddy thats too big for her...thats hot
Monday, June 08, 2009
this happens every year. i get exsited for my birthday leading up to it but then the closer i get to the actual date the more i want to freez time and not have my birthday at all. the more i start to wish i could fly and go to neverland (although in the original story girls did not go to never land but whatever).
its not that i dont wanna grow up because i fear the responsibility that comes with getting older. its just some of the changes that happen. i donno. i used to find the idea of giving myself a birthday party lots of fun. but now i just dont want to acknolage the fact that i am getting older. its weird cause even though i do not look it at all. i am one of maybe the second oldest person in our little group of friends.
ahhh stupid birthdays
*******
im tired from working full time now. seems like already somedays the only thing that keeps me going at work is the thoughts of the fun things i get to do when i am no longer at work such as chillen with friends, going to a green day concert (i should really listen to the cd more before i go there i realy dont like being at a concert when i dont know the lyrics. it bugs me). and then cali with fiona. i just keep telling myself over and over these are the reasons why i am at work. to get money to go on these fun adventures
*********
i am not practising driving standard as much as i should be. i mean there is a pretty car sitting in my garage just for me. and if i learn how to drive properly and i get my full licence then it is all mine. to drive and to look cool and awesome. but part of me does not want the pretty car. even thought i told all my friends that i have it. part of me wants to just keep my beater car. it has peronality i tell myself. i dont know why i keep procrastinating on stuff but i do. and the whole driver licence. pretty car thing does not seem as big of a deal to me as it did about 3 weeks ago. im more into hanging with friends and continually attmepting to find time to just chill with my boyfrend rather then rushing off to get my licence....even thought there is a little voice (and both of my parents) that are telling me i should do that.
******
i was bored with shannon yesterday so when my mom was cooking we just started narating what she was doing and were calling it lindas cooking show. she joined in. and took a big swig of here beer. said it was to keep the cook calm
******
aggg im off to work now. i dont wanna go. i have to work with the red head for 8 hours today. shoot me now
its not that i dont wanna grow up because i fear the responsibility that comes with getting older. its just some of the changes that happen. i donno. i used to find the idea of giving myself a birthday party lots of fun. but now i just dont want to acknolage the fact that i am getting older. its weird cause even though i do not look it at all. i am one of maybe the second oldest person in our little group of friends.
ahhh stupid birthdays
*******
im tired from working full time now. seems like already somedays the only thing that keeps me going at work is the thoughts of the fun things i get to do when i am no longer at work such as chillen with friends, going to a green day concert (i should really listen to the cd more before i go there i realy dont like being at a concert when i dont know the lyrics. it bugs me). and then cali with fiona. i just keep telling myself over and over these are the reasons why i am at work. to get money to go on these fun adventures
*********
i am not practising driving standard as much as i should be. i mean there is a pretty car sitting in my garage just for me. and if i learn how to drive properly and i get my full licence then it is all mine. to drive and to look cool and awesome. but part of me does not want the pretty car. even thought i told all my friends that i have it. part of me wants to just keep my beater car. it has peronality i tell myself. i dont know why i keep procrastinating on stuff but i do. and the whole driver licence. pretty car thing does not seem as big of a deal to me as it did about 3 weeks ago. im more into hanging with friends and continually attmepting to find time to just chill with my boyfrend rather then rushing off to get my licence....even thought there is a little voice (and both of my parents) that are telling me i should do that.
******
i was bored with shannon yesterday so when my mom was cooking we just started narating what she was doing and were calling it lindas cooking show. she joined in. and took a big swig of here beer. said it was to keep the cook calm
******
aggg im off to work now. i dont wanna go. i have to work with the red head for 8 hours today. shoot me now
Thursday, June 04, 2009
omg yay so i have officially boughten my ticket to go to san fran with fiona. i am soooo happy. it is going to be an adventure. i have wanted to get off the island for so long and this summer it is actually going to happen which makes me happy. now dont get me wrong the little island that i live on can be great. but being stuck here year after year sometimes can be enough to make somone want to find a good bludgening object and smack themself right in the head. but no worries about me doing that this year :P cause i have a tickit to get out of here. oh man fiona and i started blasting the song if your going to san fransisco after we bought our tickits. its officially going to be our song. ims exsited about our adventure.
the plan is that on the 19th of august we are going to leave for seattle becasue it is cheaper to fly from seattle then it is to fly from here. that night we are going to pay to stay somewere in seattle. and the next morning on the 20th we are going to head to the airport and get on our plan and go to san fran. (yaaaaay). we should be spending about 3 days in san fran just being totaly hippies. checking out the cool shops. we might go to the prision that is there. just cause we want to go visit alcatras (sp?) the old cool prision. that would be neat. then after a couple days in san fran we are going to make our way down to los angelos and go to some amusment parks. you know california advenutre, knotts berry farm, hollywod studios all that crap. it really depends on how much money that we have and how much we really wanna see. maybe go to disney land.
then we head back to san fran and hang there till the 3rd of september which is when we fly back to seattle. so we will probs be back on the island by the 4th at the latest. which gives me lots of times considering i dont think that schoool starts till the 7th of september. but yes this augest is going to be sooo awesome. fiona already put a down payment on a hostel for the first three nights that we are there. it is about 30 bucks a night to stay there. and it should be a party. i still need to go and get travelers insurance. we are planning on buying a california rail pass because there is a train that leaves from san fran and goes to all the destinations that we wish to go and see. so this should be fun
oh and im going camping with chris and a bunch of other peoples in august also. that is happening on the tenth. and going till the 17th at the very latests. which means i will luckaly have the 18th to pack before fiona and i go off on our epic california adventure.
man its hot here im going to burn in cali
or come back with a wickid tan
my parents are worried cause i all ready look like a hippy. my moms words were "i fear, all the stuff that your going to bring back with you from san fransisco with you"
i just laughed i like looking like a hippy. this adventure should be fun.
i still need to talk to my boss about getting august off. i should do that soon.
i loves adventures
the plan is that on the 19th of august we are going to leave for seattle becasue it is cheaper to fly from seattle then it is to fly from here. that night we are going to pay to stay somewere in seattle. and the next morning on the 20th we are going to head to the airport and get on our plan and go to san fran. (yaaaaay). we should be spending about 3 days in san fran just being totaly hippies. checking out the cool shops. we might go to the prision that is there. just cause we want to go visit alcatras (sp?) the old cool prision. that would be neat. then after a couple days in san fran we are going to make our way down to los angelos and go to some amusment parks. you know california advenutre, knotts berry farm, hollywod studios all that crap. it really depends on how much money that we have and how much we really wanna see. maybe go to disney land.
then we head back to san fran and hang there till the 3rd of september which is when we fly back to seattle. so we will probs be back on the island by the 4th at the latest. which gives me lots of times considering i dont think that schoool starts till the 7th of september. but yes this augest is going to be sooo awesome. fiona already put a down payment on a hostel for the first three nights that we are there. it is about 30 bucks a night to stay there. and it should be a party. i still need to go and get travelers insurance. we are planning on buying a california rail pass because there is a train that leaves from san fran and goes to all the destinations that we wish to go and see. so this should be fun
oh and im going camping with chris and a bunch of other peoples in august also. that is happening on the tenth. and going till the 17th at the very latests. which means i will luckaly have the 18th to pack before fiona and i go off on our epic california adventure.
man its hot here im going to burn in cali
or come back with a wickid tan
my parents are worried cause i all ready look like a hippy. my moms words were "i fear, all the stuff that your going to bring back with you from san fransisco with you"
i just laughed i like looking like a hippy. this adventure should be fun.
i still need to talk to my boss about getting august off. i should do that soon.
i loves adventures
Monday, June 01, 2009
dear annoying red head coworker:
dear annoying red head coworker please learn not take everything so personally. when im asking you to move a little quicker and go on your break its not becasue i think your working slow its becasue i want you to go and finish your break so i can go home and not have to stay late like i had to tonight.
it would be nice if you would listen to me. i know your in your fifties and im just turning twenty but i have been working here longer then you. i know what im doing. i am not trying to boss you around im just trying to get the job done. you dont have to always double check everything that i say with the manager. it annoys me and im sure that it annoys her as well.
it would be nice if you learned to sighn the sheet and fill out forms and do other jobs that you seem to like to pass onto me just becasue you do not wanna do it. its not fair. im usually already working on something then i have to run over and do whatever it is that you should be doing. this is espically annoying on closing shifts becasue i know that even though you should be doing something, if i do not do it then i know for a fact we will not get out on time and i do not want to be staying late becasue of you.
please be a little more focused, your not new, if you were i would have a bit more sympathy. stop running to me there are other people to ask questions.
thank you.
i know my coworker is never going to read that but i just really needed to vent. today was along day at work. there was all that. and then when i did get off work today. i got off late. and then when i tryed to swipe my pass to get out of the parking lot the gate would not go up. five minutes later it did...and was stuck up. wow today was not my day. frustrating. yesterday was better. i swam for three hours.
i miss the lake already.
oh on a funny note. today at work a guy game in and on his right earlobe he had three peircings. and no pericings on his left. the thought that went through my head that i was tempted to ask but i did not was
so does that mean that your triple gay?
dear annoying red head coworker please learn not take everything so personally. when im asking you to move a little quicker and go on your break its not becasue i think your working slow its becasue i want you to go and finish your break so i can go home and not have to stay late like i had to tonight.
it would be nice if you would listen to me. i know your in your fifties and im just turning twenty but i have been working here longer then you. i know what im doing. i am not trying to boss you around im just trying to get the job done. you dont have to always double check everything that i say with the manager. it annoys me and im sure that it annoys her as well.
it would be nice if you learned to sighn the sheet and fill out forms and do other jobs that you seem to like to pass onto me just becasue you do not wanna do it. its not fair. im usually already working on something then i have to run over and do whatever it is that you should be doing. this is espically annoying on closing shifts becasue i know that even though you should be doing something, if i do not do it then i know for a fact we will not get out on time and i do not want to be staying late becasue of you.
please be a little more focused, your not new, if you were i would have a bit more sympathy. stop running to me there are other people to ask questions.
thank you.
i know my coworker is never going to read that but i just really needed to vent. today was along day at work. there was all that. and then when i did get off work today. i got off late. and then when i tryed to swipe my pass to get out of the parking lot the gate would not go up. five minutes later it did...and was stuck up. wow today was not my day. frustrating. yesterday was better. i swam for three hours.
i miss the lake already.
oh on a funny note. today at work a guy game in and on his right earlobe he had three peircings. and no pericings on his left. the thought that went through my head that i was tempted to ask but i did not was
so does that mean that your triple gay?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
random thoughts in my head well at work:
-who the hell spends 200 dollers at a gift shop? this stuff is over priced crap.
- why do i show compasion for things that creep me out...like spiders. i mean they are ugly but that does not mean that they should be killed. what makes our lifes so much more valuable then theirs? just because they are bugs. i used to kill spieders till i read a phantom book. erik considered himself ugly like a spider and got really angry about them getting killed. after reading that book i stoped killing spiders i would put them outside. then i heard somewere that when you put house spiders outsied they usualy die because they are not used to being ouside. that made me sad so i no longer put house spieders out side. ill see one running across the floor and just aviod it. or ill try to put them on house plans and such in hope that they will kill the annoying flys.
- is it okay do do one really bad thing for the greater good of the human race. would you be able to shoot one of your pest friend in the head if doing so brought about world peace? would you be able to let your best friend shoot you in the head if doing so brought about world peace?
- i find it funny that they used to consider left handed people spawns of satan considering im left handed and i feel guilty even if i kill a spider?
- what would humans be like if we were actually a sexual? did not need love in order to mate. did not need a partner.
- why do really fundametalist christains want everyone to be christain? i know they think it would be better and there souls would be saved and all that jazz. but in all honesty if every one was the same it would be lame. i would miss the world being so culturaly diverse. i would miss people being different in their own little way. if everyone was christain or if everyone was some kind of religion this world would be sooo bery boring.
- all differnt kinds of people get ranted about. the hippies, the emos, the freaks, the gays, the punks, the christains, any one who is considered not the norm...well the majority of my friends and me fit into thoes categories and i think they are better and more loyal people then that the leaders of social conformity chose to belive.
i know i had other thoughts well randomly pricing crap and putting it out today but i cannot remember what all of them were.
-who the hell spends 200 dollers at a gift shop? this stuff is over priced crap.
- why do i show compasion for things that creep me out...like spiders. i mean they are ugly but that does not mean that they should be killed. what makes our lifes so much more valuable then theirs? just because they are bugs. i used to kill spieders till i read a phantom book. erik considered himself ugly like a spider and got really angry about them getting killed. after reading that book i stoped killing spiders i would put them outside. then i heard somewere that when you put house spiders outsied they usualy die because they are not used to being ouside. that made me sad so i no longer put house spieders out side. ill see one running across the floor and just aviod it. or ill try to put them on house plans and such in hope that they will kill the annoying flys.
- is it okay do do one really bad thing for the greater good of the human race. would you be able to shoot one of your pest friend in the head if doing so brought about world peace? would you be able to let your best friend shoot you in the head if doing so brought about world peace?
- i find it funny that they used to consider left handed people spawns of satan considering im left handed and i feel guilty even if i kill a spider?
- what would humans be like if we were actually a sexual? did not need love in order to mate. did not need a partner.
- why do really fundametalist christains want everyone to be christain? i know they think it would be better and there souls would be saved and all that jazz. but in all honesty if every one was the same it would be lame. i would miss the world being so culturaly diverse. i would miss people being different in their own little way. if everyone was christain or if everyone was some kind of religion this world would be sooo bery boring.
- all differnt kinds of people get ranted about. the hippies, the emos, the freaks, the gays, the punks, the christains, any one who is considered not the norm...well the majority of my friends and me fit into thoes categories and i think they are better and more loyal people then that the leaders of social conformity chose to belive.
i know i had other thoughts well randomly pricing crap and putting it out today but i cannot remember what all of them were.
Friday, May 22, 2009
what goes down, must come up..you know like a trampoline
this summer is looking good to me. im exsited im thinking its going to be a good un. okay so at first my summer started out really crapy for a number of reasons.
1) my grandma died. this really sucked, and yes that is an understatment. it made not only me emo, but also my entire family...i saw my dad cry...that was not normal for me
2) i was running low on money cause i spend all my money on my firends
3) i was feeling left out of some fun things becasue i have to work full time
4) i heard from my dad that i could not go to the green day concert because tickets whent on sale the day of my grandmas funeral and obviously we are not bailing out of a funeral so that we can go and get tickets for a concert. ahhh they sold out
but you know. i think i am really starting to belive in karma. the fact that when bad things happen to you something good has to be just around the courner. becasue things are starting to look good
first of.
1) i do get to go to the green day concert. becasue my dad found tickets and it is going to be friken awesome. i saw them when they game to vancouver in 2005 and i cant wait to see them again
2) i has more money. well not yet but my grandma has left me a good deal of money in her will. im not going to say how much becasue my friends already know and i dont wanna be like omg guys look how much i have on the internet. but i get the money officialy on monday. this means i can save for important things like downpayments on an apartment and such for when i want to move out. and also addy this means i can spend more money on you, dont argue bitch im doing it!!!
3) i have trips and adventures planed this summer. chris wants to go up to parksville again and bring me...that should be fun. the funny thing was that this whole dicesion was made through a text message conversation...in old english. that fair prince christopher is wise beyond his years. also im going to san fran in august with fiona, we are going to dress up like hippies. but i have also come to the conclusion that if she does not have enough money to go after all im not going to worry becasue i can go and have an adventure by myself. i hope to have her come, or have a friend come if she cant. but i am not going to be stuck on the rock this summer like last summer. if no one can come with me im going to be the lone hippy back backing in sanfran
so yes. adventures money and concerts. what more could a girl ask for. i still wanna go camping sometime this summer so i might have to sort that out. lizzard lake is a fun place. my parents used to take me there. i should get some directions and i could go there again.
1) my grandma died. this really sucked, and yes that is an understatment. it made not only me emo, but also my entire family...i saw my dad cry...that was not normal for me
2) i was running low on money cause i spend all my money on my firends
3) i was feeling left out of some fun things becasue i have to work full time
4) i heard from my dad that i could not go to the green day concert because tickets whent on sale the day of my grandmas funeral and obviously we are not bailing out of a funeral so that we can go and get tickets for a concert. ahhh they sold out
but you know. i think i am really starting to belive in karma. the fact that when bad things happen to you something good has to be just around the courner. becasue things are starting to look good
first of.
1) i do get to go to the green day concert. becasue my dad found tickets and it is going to be friken awesome. i saw them when they game to vancouver in 2005 and i cant wait to see them again
2) i has more money. well not yet but my grandma has left me a good deal of money in her will. im not going to say how much becasue my friends already know and i dont wanna be like omg guys look how much i have on the internet. but i get the money officialy on monday. this means i can save for important things like downpayments on an apartment and such for when i want to move out. and also addy this means i can spend more money on you, dont argue bitch im doing it!!!
3) i have trips and adventures planed this summer. chris wants to go up to parksville again and bring me...that should be fun. the funny thing was that this whole dicesion was made through a text message conversation...in old english. that fair prince christopher is wise beyond his years. also im going to san fran in august with fiona, we are going to dress up like hippies. but i have also come to the conclusion that if she does not have enough money to go after all im not going to worry becasue i can go and have an adventure by myself. i hope to have her come, or have a friend come if she cant. but i am not going to be stuck on the rock this summer like last summer. if no one can come with me im going to be the lone hippy back backing in sanfran
so yes. adventures money and concerts. what more could a girl ask for. i still wanna go camping sometime this summer so i might have to sort that out. lizzard lake is a fun place. my parents used to take me there. i should get some directions and i could go there again.
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